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Frequently Asked Questions
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| Home > Frequently Asked Questions |
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Here are a few questions others have had about Write For Life:
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Can I do my writing on a computer?
When it is not possible to write by hand, such as with certain disabilities from arthritis or the trauma caused by accident, etc., any way that facilitates writing about what is happening with you will enhance your healing process.
Is it better to write my journal by hand?
Yes, because it strengthens the body—mind—spirit connection. Using the muscles on the body to help you connect with what is going on in your life extends the health benefits you can experience. Just as physical exercise is important for your emotions and your spiritual life, so writing by hand makes it possible for you to connect with healing on more than one level.
Will you critique my journal?
There is enough criticism in your life already. The journal is a place to heal and therefore you are the focus of your entries. You are writing only for yourself and not to please anyone else. Getting free of the limitations that others might set for you is one of the most important features of writing in your journal.
How do I know if I'm doing it right?
There is no right way or wrong way to write in your journal. However you write about anything—that's how you write. What is MOST important is that you include your feelings in whatever you are writing. Writing about your feelings always enhances the effect.
Do I have to write every day?
Writing every day builds up the routine of the healing process and makes it easier to accomplish. Skipping days, or weeks, invites inertia and all the dead weight attached to it.
Is there a minimum length to a journal entry?
There are some journal writing practices that require a minimum of three pages with every sitting. For some, this is a daunting requirement resulting in fewer and fewer entries over time. What is most important when you sit down to write is that you allow yourself to write through the first five or so minutes of "noise"—all of the things on your to-do lists, including your telephone calls. When you give yourself permission to write every day you discover that within a period of 20 to 30 minutes you are refreshed and can go on without some of the baggage you've been struggling under. Writing makes some space in your day's perspective that you come to appreciate and anticipate.
What's the difference between blogging and journaling?
When you write in your journal, you are writing to heal yourself instead of for an audience. Blogging is publishing whatever you are writing about and expecting someone else to respond with his or her opinion of what you've written. This is quite different from healing.
I hate my handwriting; what can I do about this?
This is only another way of being self-critical. There is enough of that already in your life and writing in your journal is one of the best ways of moving into the realm of self-caring. Whatever your handwriting looks like, you will also discover that over time there will be many different kinds of handwriting that appear. All of them belong to you, and all of them are healing you.
What will happen with my journal after I'm gone?
Many people have asked me this question in the workshops. I encourage them to leave instructions for the person who is responsible for looking after your affairs at that time. Be explicit: this is your decision and you can do whatever you choose.
How do I get started if I haven't written in my journal for several days? Weeks? Years?
Write For Life has some important information about this in the opening chapters of the book, and you can turn to them at any time in your process to support your efforts. Just connect with your wish to live better, and you find yourself already started again on your journal.
What if I want to write in my journal several times a day?
Just as there are no prescribed pages to write, so there is no limit to the number of times you decide to open your journal to write in it. Over time, the journal becomes your close friend and the need to make this connection may arise from any number of circumstances. It is always there waiting for you. What is important to remember is not to let journal writing take the place of living. By expressing your feelings about what is happening in your life, you connect with the richness and depth of your experience and can savor it in new ways.
Can I read anything I've written to someone else? Friend, therapist, etc.
You are in charge of your journal, and whatever you wish to tell someone about what you are writing is entirely your decision. But you are writing for yourself, for your own healing, and it is possible that someone else's response to what you've written might result in some form of criticism or debate. Write for several days in your journal about your reasons for revealing what you have written before you do it. You are, in a way, "publishing" your healing process. Being clear about the healing benefits of this publication is crucial to your decision.
Can I use any of the material I write in my journal for a story or an autobiography?
The journal is yours to do whatever you choose. Many people have taken excerpts from it to develop short stories or memoirs. The journal is a rich treasury of experience, and the material in it is easily developed into many different creative projects. Allow yourself the opportunity to look on it as a source for inspiration and creativity, while still preserving its value as a place for you to heal body, mind, and spirit.
When is the best time to write?
This depends entirely upon you and the way you plan your day. It usually takes some experimenting to discover when you can show up for your journal. It is waiting there, twenty-four hours a day; you can reach for it at any time. I've written at every time of the day or night and can say that some of the times I did it were better for me than others. My usual time now for writing is at night, just before I go to sleep. When I lived beside the ocean, I wrote every morning. Find the best time for you, and make it part of your daily routine.
Where is the best place to write?
I have written in every imaginable location under the sun. Trains, planes, buses, lobbies, doctor's offices, classrooms, beaches, antique shows—the list goes on and on. I've written when I've been terribly uncomfortable because I just needed to write; but I find most important is to be in a place that I feel safe and easy in myself—even in the midst of turmoil. Discover this for yourself as you journal.
Why is it important to insure confidentiality?
You deprive yourself of the healing benefits of journal writing if you are writing and know that someone else will read it. It is not possible to be honest with yourself under those circumstances. You are then writing for an audience, and that means you are writing with a built-in censor. Healing occurs when you are willing to be as honest with yourself as you can possibly be.
What if I change my mind about something I've already written? Should I tear it out?
Give yourself permission to allow everything you've written in your journal to remain there. Changing your mind is part of the growth process, and being able to see this in yourself is a very important dimension of the healing that occurs through writing. When you are honest about what you write, you can change your mind about it tomorrow, or next year, or next decade. What you write today is a snapshot of today. It will provide you with an amazing account of yourself over time.
Do I have to embark on the journeys in the order in which they are arranged in the book?
The book is not written with a linear concept but with the reader's need for self exploration and discovery in mind. Getting Started and Staying Started are the kick-off for the process. And the chapter on Self-Caring is useful to initiate the rest of the journeys. Find your own way on the journey that you are living, and let the book support your effort to get, and give, as much as possible in life.
How can I get the most help for healing from writing in my journal?
By being as honest as you can each day in the routine you set up for writing in your journal. The more you exercise your wish to show up in body, mind, and spirit, the more help you will offer yourself along the way.
Is it useful to form a journal writing group?
Somehow it seems easier to write every day when you have a group of people who you know are also writing. What is most important, however, is that the group meets to discuss the process of journal writing and not the material in the journals. Some things work better than others to facilitate the process, and it is valuable to explore this. With the focus on healing, it can be useful to discuss how you went about including certain material in the entry, but the moment the discussion turns into one-upman-ship, the healing values are gone. Discussing different ideas which come up during journal writing is another way to extend the idea of healing within the group.
How can I get around my intense reluctance to write about my feelings?
This, for many, takes practice. When you are not used to doing something, some special effort, encouragement, is needed. Many people find it difficult to acknowledge that they even have feelings, and it is only when they are faced with the task of writing about them do they give them a name. There is a suggestion in the book about writing affirmations that will prove useful in doing this. Affirm yourself for writing about your feelings and you will find your way into this.
Why is it a good idea not to read what I've written until several months have passed?
Because the first thing you will do is to edit it, critique it, change it to "make it better." When we write as honestly as we can about what is happening in our lives, we are so close to it that we have little, if any perspective of ourselves in the midst. Perspective comes over time and, along with it, comes healing. One of the participants in the group shared that she allows herself to read what she wrote three months earlier if she has made an entry that day in her journal. Her practice is an excellent one.
I'm having trouble journal writing because I'm used to producing a "product." What can I do?
It begins with giving yourself permission to become self-caring and valuing yourself not for what you do but for who you are. Workaholics come to mind immediately in this behavior. It is only if they are working that they are worthwhile. This is one of the most harmful, destructive attitudes to live with, and it is a major obstacle to healing.
No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find the time to write in my journal. What can I do?
We are very pragmatic in our lives. We do what works. We do what we value. If we don't value something—truly value it—we avoid doing it. The moment you begin to prize and value the healing that comes from journal writing you will discover that you not only have the time but insist on its being in your schedule—no matter what other priorities you face. Discover if this is not true for you.
How will I know if journal writing is helping me?
In the pudding is the proof! Your own journal will reveal the healing benefit you experience and this will be reflected in the way you live your life and write about it. It will not be a secret to you, for you will have ample evidence of new and different perspectives.
Can you tell me who will publish my journal?
The journal you are writing each day is not for publication but for healing. Your decision to publish is an entirely different project for you than your daily effort to initiate the healing process. The material in your journal can be reworked into many different forms, and it is possible that you may decide to undertake the work that will translate your entries into a presentation for an audience. Permit yourself the healing that only you can do for yourself before entering the arena of publication.
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